Friday, October 19, 2012

Postpartum Depression

     Hope turned 5 months on October 10th! I can't believe HOW fast the last 5 months have flown by! I love her like crazy! She is SO easy and laid back and such a joy to have. I am so happy we decided to have her :) After having her I began to realize that my energy was just not bouncing back like it had with the other two. I have been so beyond normal Mommy tiredness. My hair has been falling out like crazy (much beyond what is normal post partum), my joints have been aching. I kept attributing it to trying to adjust to a 3rd kid in the house. That was until I began to notice things like, walking out the room and not remembering why ALL THE TIME! I was feeling confused and very very scattered all the time. I was finding myself paranoid constantly that I would leave Hope somewhere to the point I began to obsessively check on her all the time. Then I began to need to check on her at night too. One of my greatest skills has been my ability to multi-task, but that became non-existent. By the end of the day I could NOT get up off the couch. Then it began to be earlier and earlier in the day. I was an emotional wreck! I just knew that something was wrong. I had just had a baby so you get 3 guesses everyone's answer to me, "oh you must have postpartum depression". I called my Dr who is wonderful and right away she ordered some tests for me to see what was going on. It turns out I am having a thyroid issue that is a postpartum issue (but NOT postpartum depression). That got me to thinking about how often do we as women get our issues blown off due to "common issues"? So I did some research and would like to share with you what I learned! For now I want to touch on the difference between baby blue and postpartum depression (ppd).

Most mom's get a little case of the baby blues when they have a child. It is a MAJOR life event and a MAJOR change on your body! Your hormones are all out of control, you arent sleeping, you just went through a process that took your body 9 months to prepare for! So what kinds of signs are normal? Here is a list:

  • Mood swings
  • Anxiety
  • Sadness
  • Irritability
  • Crying
  • Decreased concentration
  • Trouble sleeping
 It is normal for these to last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Your body is going through a lot of changes and so are your emotions. Whether this is your first baby or you tenth, you need to allow your body to readjust to a whole new life! So when do you need to worry? Here is a list of symptoms of ppd:

  • Loss of appetite
  • Insomnia
  • Intense irritability and anger
  • Overwhelming fatigue
  • Loss of interest in sex
  • Lack of joy in life
  • Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
  • Severe mood swings
  • Difficulty bonding with your baby
  • Withdrawal from family and friends
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
If you find yourself experiencing these symptoms at any time (within the first few days, weeks or months) then you need to seek help. Talk to your Dr., spouse, friend, anyone. PPD is not just an emotional illness but can also be a physical one as well. There is never any shame in asking for help!

The media went through a phase making PPD the "fad" illness for a while, and we can all recall a story of a Mom doing something unspeakable and blaming PPD on it. I feel like the media does the medical field a HUGE disservice by doing this. It takes what is a very real struggle for women and puts a stigma on it. It is important if you are a spouse of a woman who recently had a baby that you also watch for these signs. If a woman is experiencing PPD she will likely not feel strong enough to seek help and its important you are strong enough for her!

It is also important for women to be their own advocates! If you feel like there is something wrong, dont stop looking and asking! I have called my Dr and the specialist I saw multiple times and every time even though I may not like the answer, I have NEVER been made to feel I was bothering them and I have never been treated like I was making anything up! For more information on Postpartum Depression check out this great article by Mayo Clinic!

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546

Symptoms were retrieved from the above website.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Do you need a miracle?


Then Jesus said to him, Unless you see signs and miracles happen, you [people] never will believe (trust, have faith) at all. John 4: 48

     Do you ever feel like this is you? You want to believe but you just find yourself needing a sign of some sort, just something tangible to give you a reason to continue? I know I have felt that way and I certainly have struggled with it more lately. I see the heartache and frustration around me and it is not easy to continue on! I often wonder when I pray, does God hear me? I struggle with the feeling that I am not as "holy" as other people and so maybe God doesnt hear my prayers as much as other people, or maybe my prayers arent as powerful!

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

     I often find I have to actively remind myself those thoughts are lies from Satan. Yup, I said it! I believe Satan actively works to bring us down. I have struggled many times in my life with having to tell myself I AM good enough, I AM someone of worth and value. That is absolutely Satan trying to stop me from being an effective worker for the Kingdom of God. Not something I often run around saying, because I dont need affirmation of people, I only need the affirmation of God! I know that my prayers are just as effective as anyone else's, that there is no Holy Meter I have to measure up to before my prayers go to God. 
     So, how do we get past this need to see tangible proof? To be honest, I don't know that I have. The truth is, I HAVE seen those sign and those miracles. I think we all have at some point in our lives. When I feel those moments the most like God is around the least, I sit down and think about the times I HAVE seen miracles. 

And God did unusual and extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul. Acts 19: 11

     I think we read these scriptures, and think, "yeah God did that back then". Pretty cool, though, God STILL does that! God does extradorinary miracles by my hand and you hand and your neighbors hand! I use to hear about the stories of groceries showing up on people's porches and a part of me was always skeptical, until the day came when diapers showed up on mine, or wipes. Or on a day when we didnt have any money for food, suddenly we had more than enough to get through! 
     We sometimes think to a miracle has to be some HUGE life changing moment. Some of the most life changing moments for me were not huge. One of the greatest moments of my life was sitting in a small chapel at Timber-lee pouring at anger and frustration to God about a hurt my father had caused my mother. In a small quiet instant, I forgave my Dad. If you ask me that was pretty miraculous! Holding my oldest daughter as an infant and being so tired I cant even see straight, crying, and just pleading with God to allow her to sleep, and she did. Any mom will tell you that absolutely is a miracle! 
     Sometimes, the greatest miracle of all is just believing even when you don't feel it. When you have a day like today when its a little harder to believe the good guy will always win. Its a day like today when I can sit here and say, maybe I dont feel like singing from the rooftops, but I still know God is God and He is who He is! Maybe a day like today, I don't feel the miracle, but it might be there after all!