Trip to Pic N Save with a happy ending!

All of us have those stories of getting angry at people when we are at the store or whatnot doing something while our child has an epic meltdown. I have come home furious many times and I have also made comments to people in stores many times when they have given me dirty looks when Grace is screaming. Today we had what I like to call an epic meltdown. You know what I talking about! The one where she is screaming so loud and so hard you can hear her, where you have learned to face her away from you so she cant hit and kick you. Grace was also trying to bite me, but was tensing her whole body so hard that it was obvious to everyone she was MAD!! She doesnt have these to often anymore, although lately we have been seeing more and more of them. What set her off? We were in the car cart, and she kept trying to push Emma out, so I took her out. For those of you who havent dealt with an epic tantrum, let me just say, this is not a 2 year old just angry about not getting her way (hence the word epic! lol). After I finished checking out and managed to get out of the store, I got Grace in the car and strapped in. I was just getting the groceries to put in the car when I saw a woman walking out. Of course, right away I thought, oh great here we go. She was obviously walking towards me. Then she came up and told me she wanted to commend me for how I acted in there! Instantly I teared up and thanked her and explained Grace was autistic and when she gets worked up, just doesnt have the skills to calm herself down. The woman told me she was so happy with how I responded and that I hung in there. WOW! I think it was worth the meltdown to hear someone give me a positive response for once! There was no judging and no telling me what I should be doing, just acknowledging a tough situation and thanking me for how I handled it. That woman was definitely a blessing for me today! :)

What pregnancy and mothering books fail to tell you!

Congratulations! Your pregnant! You've joined the ranks of about 75% of the women I know right now, including me! Is it just me, or does it seem like the whole world is pregnant right now? This is my third time around, so I figure by now I know what I am doing (insert mocking laugh here!). You know those annoying people who constantly chirp in "Every pregnancy is different" EVERY time you make a comparison between one pregnancy and another? Well unfortunately, even though you may want to slap them, they are right. Children (and pregnancy) are like snowflakes, there are just no two alike. That being said, there is still some common info that can help (or might be nice to know) regardless of the number of pregnancy you are on or how many kids you have, as well as just some random tips I have learned along the way!

1. The more kids you have the sooner you can expect to experience everything.

You are likely to feel the baby move sooner, begin to show as much as a month earlier, and feel fatigue much more intensely. Your body remembers what it is supposed to do now, so it will much quicker to make changes. Your uterus doesnt shrink completely back to the size it was before each pregnancy, allowing to change quicker. Your abdominal muscles can also be weaker from already being stretched out and as a result you may carry lower with each pregnancy. Every woman is different so while many women will experience this, not all women will.

2. No one wants to subscribe to the pregnancy channel 24/7!

I am ecstatic to be pregnant (when I am not hanging my head over a toilet at least!). I am sure that you are happy for me that I am pregnant, but I promise you, I am WAY happier I am pregnant than you are about it! It is easy for women to get caught up in gushing about everything from their morning vomit session, to the weird thinks leaking from their body. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not want to hear it! If you are like me and want to find a way to talk about it, write a blog, talk to another pregnant friend, talk to a stuffed animal. Just try to remember your friends are excited about the changes in your body, but they dont want to talk about it all the time. It is also very important to remember, we dont know everyone's situation. Someone may be struggling to get pregnant, and it could be very insensitive to make them hear all about yours.

3. Once you have a kid pregnancy goes to a whole new level.

Take some advice from a wise old woman (ok, maybe I am young and dumb, but I DO know this!), it is NEVER going to be a breeze being pregnant and caring for your kid you already have. When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my best friend and I use to go hang out with friends every weekend, work 40+ hours (we worked in a factory all summer with NO AC and I was lucky enough to work at a machine that put the plastic on the cardboard to hold pieces on, how hot do you think THAT got!) getting up sometimes at 4 am for work and staying up till 10 pm at night. I was able to lay down whenever I had down time and take a nap if I wanted, so I would keep up a hectic schedule. When I found out I was pregnant with my second I had 4 foster sons (twin infants, one not quite 2, and a 14 year old boy) as well as Emma who had just turned 2. Not only did I not get naps during the day, I also did not get sleep at night! Common sense kicked in quickly and we stopped fostering. Even with just 1 child to care for, I found my second pregnancy much more tiring, not mention I puked for 9 months straight! If you have a friend who is pregnant with a second or third, be a cool friend give them a break once in a while, even though they may not realize they need it, they do! There are a lot more demands being put on your body than you may realize. I know I find myself hormonal and exhausted, and I am only 7 weeks into my pregnancy!

4. Really I promise, NO 2 pregnancies are the same.

My first pregnancy, you would not have known I was pregnant. I rode horses, bikes, and rollerbladed all throughout my pregnancy. My best friend and I played full court tennis (yes that includes running!) 3 days before I went into labor! After having my Emma, I am pretty sure you could have gone cave exploring in the rip she left behind. It took me weeks to recover! Lets fast forward to baby #2 (also sometimes called Grace ;). I think all I saw for 8 months straight (it started around 4 weeks) was the inside of my toilet or whatever bowl was closest to me to grab! I carried 2 kinds of medication at all times, and my husband use to have to come home multiple times a day to help change diapers and get my medicine if I had not gotten to it quick enough. I pulled every ligament in my stomache and use to have to push her out of my ribs just so I could breathe. After I delivered Grace, I never even felt like I had given birth. I was chomping at the bit to go home the next morning, and my mom can attest to the fact I went right back to my regular schedule and felt completely fine. Now with baby #3, I notice differences from the other two already! I have WAY less morning sickness, but I find I am totally exhausted all the time, and much more hormonal than I was with the others. Let me give you a word of caution from a hormonal pregnant lady though, we dont really want to hear 15 times a day how all pregnancies are different, we are living it.... we know!

5. Delivery? Unless its a package.... I dont care!

Whether you are a first time mom or the octamom, you dont want to hear the delivery story of every woman out there! There is never a reason to get into the habit of sharing your horror story with the someone getting ready to have their own! No one wants to hear how you sneezed and popped out your kid (although it is fun to brag about being one of those!). If you are asked to share your story by all means share it, but please refrain from having to be "the one" who has to top everyone with their birth stories. Once you have had a kid, you know what to expect, it really doesnt change all that much!

6. What really happens after having your 2nd, 3rd child etc? Is it really different?

YES! No matter what you read in a magazing, about stretches, excersises, or whatever when you finally get the go ahead to have sex again, unless you have the grand canyon in your nether regions, it is going to be uncomfortable. It is also going to be different, and with every kid you have after it is going to change. It is just a fact of life. And finding the opportunity to actually even get to have sex? You can kiss goodbye the days of throwing your spouse on the closest flat surface and christening every room of your house. Most likely any flat surface will be covered with either dirty dishes or a leftover PB&J sandwich you made 3 days ago in a sleep deprived coma. It is very normal for your sex life to take a back seat, but just dont let it hang out there to long. Babies, toddlers, and older kids make demands on your life. It is hard to juggle all of that and find time for your spouse too. We all get sucked into the problem of defining ourselves by our kids. How can you not when every three hours you have one hanging from a boob while one or two more are asking you to read to them, change their diapers, help with homework, make something to eat, settle an argument, and we havent even looked at the house work yet! Is it the most frustrating thing you will ever do? Most likely, but in the end it will make you happier than you have ever been. Just remember, your marriage is just as important as your kids, and if you dont make time for that, then everything else gets 10X harder. Who cares if there is laundry or your house isnt perfect. Taking an hour after the kids are in bed to just sit and talk to your spouse will more than make up for all of that!

Having kids is a lot of work, and we all have our own opinions. I managed to write an entire blog post on mine! I am guilty of not following my own rules all the time, and I am glad the people around are still able to put up with me, your friends will to, but remembering a few tips may make them enjoy the time with you a little more!