Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Gracie's first day of school

Well it has come! The IEP is done, the bags are packed, and tomorrow Grace goes to her first day of school. My baby, my little 2 (yes maybe almost 3!) year old baby has to get on a bus ALONE without me, and ride to school, get off the bus, then spend 2 1/2 hours at school then ride the bus home without me again! Needless to say, while I am excited about the oppurtunity and what it is going to do for her (and me!) can I just say mommy is having a HARD time with this! What ways did you cope with your kids going to school?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What pregnancy and mothering books fail to tell you!

Congratulations! Your pregnant! You've joined the ranks of about 75% of the women I know right now, including me! Is it just me, or does it seem like the whole world is pregnant right now? This is my third time around, so I figure by now I know what I am doing (insert mocking laugh here!). You know those annoying people who constantly chirp in "Every pregnancy is different" EVERY time you make a comparison between one pregnancy and another? Well unfortunately, even though you may want to slap them, they are right. Children (and pregnancy) are like snowflakes, there are just no two alike. That being said, there is still some common info that can help (or might be nice to know) regardless of the number of pregnancy you are on or how many kids you have, as well as just some random tips I have learned along the way!

1. The more kids you have the sooner you can expect to experience everything.
You are likely to feel the baby move sooner, begin to show as much as a month earlier, and feel fatigue much more intensely. Your body remembers what it is supposed to do now, so it will much quicker to make changes. Your uterus doesnt shrink completely back to the size it was before each pregnancy, allowing to change quicker. Your abdominal muscles can also be weaker from already being stretched out and as a result you may carry lower with each pregnancy. Every woman is different so while many women will experience this, not all women will.

2. No one wants to subscribe to the pregnancy channel 24/7!
I am ecstatic to be pregnant (when I am not hanging my head over a toilet at least!). I am sure that you are happy for me that I am pregnant, but I promise you, I am WAY happier I am pregnant than you are about it! It is easy for women to get caught up in gushing about everything from their morning vomit session, to the weird thinks leaking from their body. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not want to hear it! If you are like me and want to find a way to talk about it, write a blog, talk to another pregnant friend, talk to a stuffed animal. Just try to remember your friends are excited about the changes in your body, but they dont want to talk about it all the time. It is also very important to remember, we dont know everyone's situation. Someone may be struggling to get pregnant, and it could be very insensitive to make them hear all about yours.

3. Once you have a kid pregnancy goes to a whole new level.
Take some advice from a wise old woman (ok, maybe I am young and dumb, but I DO know this!), it is NEVER going to be a breeze being pregnant and caring for your kid you already have. When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my best friend and I use to go hang out with friends every weekend, work 40+ hours (we worked in a factory all summer with NO AC and I was lucky enough to work at a machine that put the plastic on the cardboard to hold pieces on, how hot do you think THAT got!) getting up sometimes at 4 am for work and staying up till 10 pm at night. I was able to lay down whenever I had down time and take a nap if I wanted, so I would keep up a hectic schedule. When I found out I was pregnant with my second I had 4 foster sons (twin infants, one not quite 2, and a 14 year old boy) as well as Emma who had just turned 2. Not only did I not get naps during the day, I also did not get sleep at night! Common sense kicked in quickly and we stopped fostering. Even with just 1 child to care for, I found my second pregnancy much more tiring, not mention I puked for 9 months straight! If you have a friend who is pregnant with a second or third, be a cool friend give them a break once in a while, even though they may not realize they need it, they do! There are a lot more demands being put on your body than you may realize. I know I find myself hormonal and exhausted, and I am only 7 weeks into my pregnancy!

4. Really I promise, NO 2 pregnancies are the same.
My first pregnancy, you would not have known I was pregnant. I rode horses, bikes, and rollerbladed all throughout my pregnancy. My best friend and I played full court tennis (yes that includes running!) 3 days before I went into labor! After having my Emma, I am pretty sure you could have gone cave exploring in the rip she left behind. It took me weeks to recover! Lets fast forward to baby #2 (also sometimes called Grace ;). I think all I saw for 8 months straight (it started around 4 weeks) was the inside of my toilet or whatever bowl was closest to me to grab! I carried 2 kinds of medication at all times, and my husband use to have to come home multiple times a day to help change diapers and get my medicine if I had not gotten to it quick enough. I pulled every ligament in my stomache and use to have to push her out of my ribs just so I could breathe. After I delivered Grace, I never even felt like I had given birth. I was chomping at the bit to go home the next morning, and my mom can attest to the fact I went right back to my regular schedule and felt completely fine. Now with baby #3, I notice differences from the other two already! I have WAY less morning sickness, but I find I am totally exhausted all the time, and much more hormonal than I was with the others. Let me give you a word of caution from a hormonal pregnant lady though, we dont really want to hear 15 times a day how all pregnancies are different, we are living it.... we know!

5. Delivery? Unless its a package.... I dont care!
Whether you are a first time mom or the octamom, you dont want to hear the delivery story of every woman out there! There is never a reason to get into the habit of sharing your horror story with the someone getting ready to have their own! No one wants to hear how you sneezed and popped out your kid (although it is fun to brag about being one of those!). If you are asked to share your story by all means share it, but please refrain from having to be "the one" who has to top everyone with their birth stories. Once you have had a kid, you know what to expect, it really doesnt change all that much!

6. What really happens after having your 2nd, 3rd child etc? Is it really different?
YES! No matter what you read in a magazing, about stretches, excersises, or whatever when you finally get the go ahead to have sex again, unless you have the grand canyon in your nether regions, it is going to be uncomfortable. It is also going to be different, and with every kid you have after it is going to change. It is just a fact of life. And finding the opportunity to actually even get to have sex? You can kiss goodbye the days of throwing your spouse on the closest flat surface and christening every room of your house. Most likely any flat surface will be covered with either dirty dishes or a leftover PB&J sandwich you made 3 days ago in a sleep deprived coma. It is very normal for your sex life to take a back seat, but just dont let it hang out there to long. Babies, toddlers, and older kids make demands on your life. It is hard to juggle all of that and find time for your spouse too. We all get sucked into the problem of defining ourselves by our kids. How can you not when every three hours you have one hanging from a boob while one or two more are asking you to read to them, change their diapers, help with homework, make something to eat, settle an argument, and we havent even looked at the house work yet! Is it the most frustrating thing you will ever do? Most likely, but in the end it will make you happier than you have ever been. Just remember, your marriage is just as important as your kids, and if you dont make time for that, then everything else gets 10X harder. Who cares if there is laundry or your house isnt perfect. Taking an hour after the kids are in bed to just sit and talk to your spouse will more than make up for all of that!

Having kids is a lot of work, and we all have our own opinions. I managed to write an entire blog post on mine! I am guilty of not following my own rules all the time, and I am glad the people around are still able to put up with me, your friends will to, but remembering a few tips may make them enjoy the time with you a little more!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Uncle Sim

As we grow up, a part of life is saying goodbye to the people we love. I still remember when my Great Grandmother died. It was my first trip to spend a week alone with my Grandma. I was at my Great Grandparents house (we called them Granny and Pa) when Granny had a stroke. I was to young to remember much about it except that I had to stay on the porch and play with Spud McKenzie, a stuffed dog I had won at the arcade. Pa died many years later after spending several years in a nursing home. They were amazing people.

This is Granny, Jennings, and Edna Earl holding me when I was a baby.










This is a picture of Pa that same year. He was an amazing man! He built his house with his own hands and nails. The house still to this day is standing strong! It is a beautiful home that held generations of family, memories, and love.







This picture is of me, Granny, and Pa in their home when I was 3 years old. The strongest memory I have of them is that Granny always kept gum in a drawer in her kitchen and we always knew we could get gum out of it! Pa was big into puzzles. He had a horseshoe puzzle that you had to get the ring off of, and a nail trick as well. I love games like those to this day because they remind me of them. I also have a book I wrote about Pa when I was in gradeschool, shortly before his death. I cherished my visits to him in the nursing home, even though looking back now I know how unhappy he must have been there. Not many people get to have the time and memories I was blessed to have of my Great Grandparents!


This is a picture of me and my Grandpa when I was 2 years old. There is not enough room in this blog to share all the amazing memories and times I spent with him! My Grandma and Grandpa were divorced before I was born and my Grandma remarried another wonderful man who took great care of her. He took such great care of her in fact, that I often told them both, "If I marry a man who is half as good to me as Ted is to Grandma I will be perfectly happy!" Whenever I went to visit my Grandma I would get to spend a few nights at my Grandpa's house. I loved exploring all the old tools and items in his basement. He would always buy me a jar of pickles that I would eat and drink the juice. We also always made popcorn in his air popper that I was fascinated with. He would then sit and play his guitar and sing to me. He had cut off part of his ring finger in a wood cutting accident but it didnt stop him from playing guitar. He was amazing. I LOVED to listen to him play and sing. I remember the day he gave me his guitar. It was one of the most memorable moments in my life to this day. I felt I wasnt just being given a guitar, I was being given a prized possession and an important part of my Grandpa's life. After having several health issues, my mom moved him to Illinois to an assisted living place where we could be close to him. I value that time and regret it as well. I loved to get to spend time with him, but it also makes me sad and regret every moment I had the chance to spend with him but didnt because I allowed silly things to keep me from stopping by. He died shortly after I went off to college. He had a very peaceful and content passing.



This is my Uncle Sim. He is 89 years old. He lives at home on his farm, that he farmed himself until very recently. His wife has Alzheimer's but still lives at home with him along with their daughter who helps to care for them. Growing up I loved to stop at their house, he always took me for a ride in his truck to go see the cows and horses he has. His horses were wild, but they would come right up to him and eat out of a bucket. He always had a dog or two and some cats as well. It was fun to go and talk about horses and tell him what I was doing. Last night I found out he had been moved from his home to ICU and was not doing very well. Not many people can say that stayed at home and farmed their own farm their whole lives. He is an honest man who has lived an honest life, not spoiled by the problems so many of us seem to face in this country and by our government. The last report I had sounded like he was doing a little better, but he will probably not be able to go home again. While I am very sad to think about him dying, a part of me is happy he has had a long and full life, one that I hope someday my grandchildren and nieces will be able to write about me.